Our Wholeness Begins in Christ

Read Colossians 2:10 aloud.

“And ye are complete in him…”

Being complete in Christ does not mean we never struggle. It means our fundamental identity and worth come from our relationship with Christ rather than from another person’s approval.

“What Marriage Can and Cannot Do”

Place two headings on a sheet of paper.

• Marriage Can…

• Marriage Cannot…

Write down some things marriage can do and also write down some things marriage cannot do.

Example:

Marriage can…

Provide companionship

Offer emotional support

Create opportunities for growth

Provide encouragement

Reveal areas needing attention

Offer prayer and accountability

Become a safe place for vulnerability

Marriage cannot…

Replace a relationship with God

Heal every childhood wound

Establish personal identity

Remove every insecurity

Make someone emotionally healthy

Force a person to change

Carry responsibilities that belong to God

Ask:

• Which answer stood out to you?

• What expectations do people sometimes place on marriage that only God can fulfill?

• Why can unrealistic expectations become harmful to a relationship?

A spouse can love, encourage, comfort, and pray for us, but a spouse cannot become:

• Our source of identity

• The measure of our worth

• The cure for every insecurity

• The answer to every emotional need

• A replacement for God

Wholeness is not emotional isolation. God created marriage for partnership and mutual support. The problem is not needing your spouse. The problem occurs when your spouse is made responsible for needs that only God, personal growth, and appropriate healing work can address.

Discussion Questions

1. What is the difference between wanting your spouse’s love and depending on it for your identity?

2. How can a person’s relationship with God make them a healthier partner?

3. What happens when a spouse is expected to “complete” the other person?

The purpose is self-awareness, not comparison.

Marriage can reveal what is within us, but marriage cannot heal everything within us by itself. God may use a spouse as part of our support system, but the spouse must never be placed in the position of Savior.